Random thoughts and random pictures of random stuff that is....random

Deep thoughts...

• The Kohler toilet commercials....really? Are people really singing "nah nah, hey hey goodbye" as they flush? I thought only my 5 year old talked to his turds.
  
  


• The other day while dropping Chase off at preschool, XM's Kid's Place Live played the theme to "Indiana Jones" just as the van door was sliding open. I am thinking of playing it everywhere I go when exiting the van. It just makes where I am going seem so...exciting. I might buy a Fedora to wear as well. Carrying a whip on my hip *might* be a little over the top, no? I think Dave should have this set as my ringtone for when I call him. For some reason, he thinks that Darth Vaders "Death March" is more appropriate. He is hilarious, right?
  



• I am considering starting to wear my hair like the Safe Side Super Chick. My kids hang on her every word while I have to repeat requests over and over again. It must be the hair, right?

• Anyone who grew up in the 70's will recognize these lovely ancient artifacts. Why did anyone ever think they were a decorating "do"?

• Why do teenagers go to the mall to talk on their cell phones to other teenagers who are not at the mall? Am I just too old to get it? I am probably just a year or two away from shaking my fist and yelling at the damn kids to stay off my lawn.

• Speaking of malls, is there any more heinous a store than this?
  
  

I make one trip in that store per year. I go in at Christmastime for gift cards for my three nieces. My trip into Hollister is always the same (old fart alert) .... I walk in and am immediately assaulted by 1. LOUD thumping music that is, did I mention LOUD? 2. The overpowering smell of whatever their cologne is that they are selling. It makes me woozy/nauseous/immediately irritable 3. A saleschick/fella folding the same sweater over and over, size 0 on a fat day, and with a look like, "Erm. Are you lost, ma'am?" They direct me to the cash register with a wave of the hand and what I assume are words, which are lost in the thumping LOUD music, and I peer into the darkness of the store and hope at some point I will find the register. Isn't this a "beach" store, by the way? Why does it have a "midnight at the beach" lighting scheme? I scream at the girl over the din for "THREE GIFT CARDS, PLEASE" after which I attempt to find the exit. It is a maze of shadows and dim lighting, and after wandering and wandering, I am out. I have to save my Hollister purchase until the last task of the day because it gives me such a headache. Don't even get me started on Hot Topic.

• I was tempted to grab these at the thrift store the other day, just to see what my husband would do with them. Then I was afraid he may actually do what I feared. Yeah, I passed.

Warsh 'em on the cheap!

After quite the hiatus, I am back! Sadly, to my nieces, Katey and Hailee's dismay, this is to be an informative post, not the usual smart-assedness that they love from their favorite, favorite, favoritist auntie.

Today's lesson...making your own laundry detergent. Wheeeee!

I have to say, I love this stuff. It cleans your clothes oh so fabby. The only thing I have to get used to is the very light fragrance of the soap. My absolute fave up until now has been Tide with Febreze. Delightful. This make it yourself stuff has very little fragrance to it. You can add a few drops of essential oils to the mix if you want a little more good smelly stuff. I just haven't gotten any yet.

So here's the magic recipe...and my little notes to go along with it!

4 Cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda **Important- NOT Baking Soda...WASHING soda. There is a difference!**
½ Cup Borax
Grater
Clean 5 gallon bucket with lid (You can get these at Lowe's)
Clean detergent dispenser (I used a tupperware pitcher with lid)


- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir over medium-low heat until soap is melted.

-Fill the 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap/water mixture, Washing Soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.

-Stir mixture the next day, and then fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap mixture and fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. This will be very goopy and separate some from the water, so shaking before each use is important.

Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil...whatever your personal preference.

Makes 10 gallons.

Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)
Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

I had slave labor helping me with my recipe. They thought it was big fun.

Here is our journey in photos:

Getting the supplies together, mixing hot water with the two powders:



Grating the soap. Looks like cheese, doesn't taste like cheese. This is what Fels-Naptha soap looks like, in case you were unfamiliar, as I was. Oh, and my local grocery store carries this soap, so I bet yours does, too. Huh...who knew? :

Slave Laborer #1, mixing it all together:

Slave Laborer #2, taking a snack break. Please tell me why I bother to wash clothes for this kid?

Here is the final product, a day later, after cooling. It looks a lot like funky Jell-o or congealed chicken grease.




You will fill half of your container with the goop (marked D) and fill the rest with water (marked W)....and shakey, shakey, shakey each time you use it. I dispense it into the glass container for each load. I have a front-loader, so this is a 1/4 cup measurement.

My next green project will be with my BFF, Becky...Adventures in Composting. Garbage and worms. What a delight.

The Lost Little Dish

We all know that men are very visual. And I like to make things very easy for big daddy, so I created a little tutorial for him. How in the world someone can get a dirty dish to the sink....right above the dishwasher, but not actually INTO the dishwasher defies all logic to me.


I figured I would give mah man a tutorial. Men like pictures and stories, so I combined the two. Feel free to share this with the men in your lives, including any children of the XY chromosome variety as well.

This is a dirty dish. He looks sad. He is lost.

He needs to find his way home. This is his home.

It is so easy to help this lost little dish. Look! You can open his door!

And help the little dirty dish home to his dirty dish family.

I love a story with a happy ending! Hooray!

Will let you know how this pans out. I am guessing my crazy silly hubby will probably respond with a smartass email....of which, of course, I will share. : )

Random Chaseisms

Overheard at a table in Applebee's (way too loud) .... "Can we stop talking about VAGINAS?"

This morning... "I dreamt of lemons. I wanted to buy them and you wouldn't let me. You should let me do things in my own dreams."

Also this morning... "Why don't you like sharks? Because they bite? I bet Daddy could beat up a shark if it bit you."

Recently.... "Why are you such a little mom? You can't be the boss when you are so little."

Yesterday... "You should not kiss Daddy. He is stinky. You should only love the little and cute ones in the house."

And my recent fave... "Mommy, you are beautiful as butter. Wait. I mean a butterfly."

Thrift Store Thursday!

Bet you thought I disappeared. Or maybe hoped I did?

But like Rachel from BB 12...

"I'm back, b*tches!"

OK, OK, I know that is not Rachel. But it is close, no?

Clearly, she is not my favorite on the show.

Speaking of these...

...how about some thrift store fun?

Cute little Amish kid?

Or homage to psycho freak Isaac from Children of the Corn? You decide.

Now, seriously, who is going to buy this?

Why, this lady right here.

She was seriously hovering over me as I was taking the picture and POUNCED on the Angel Soft, well, angel the minute I stepped away. I feel quite sure I overheard "score!" under her breath. Yeah, you sure snagged that from me, sister. You win. I have a feeling if I would have picked it up, she would have beat me about the head and neck with one of her filthy Crocs. I just wasn't willing to risk it, even for art such as that.

Even Jesus can't believe the heinousness of that painting.

And in conclusion...

I am happy to announce that I was finally able to complete my collection of "Urines of the World". You can't imagine how hard it was to find the rare "PA Rehab Ex-Con" specimen. Yesssssssssss!

Thrift Store Thursday...It's Baaaaaaaack!

Did ya miss me?

Ya missed me, ya missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!

OK, I am a little punchy. Blame it on the 100 degree plus weather and a day of Chuck E Cheese and Toy Story 3. I do be FRIED, friends.

But I also managed a thrift store trip. Woot!

Let me say that I scoured the NC thrift stores while vacay-ing in NC. My nieces were excited to help me search out the crap (Hi Kay-Kee and Bug!) but alas, no crap was found. I guess NC'ers either a. have no crap, or b. like their crap and keep it.

But I am back in Pennsyltucky, and (What? The hell you say...?) there are loads of crap here. Buttloads.

Witness...

It is an animal... type... thing....yeah. And it is made of....shells. Surely a one of a kind craptastic creation!

But as I walked along the back wall, lo and behold...

The OCD in me was tempted to walk it back across the store to pair it to its mate, but then I thought to myself, hey, self, nobody needs two of those. I mean, dang, that is too greedy. There are not enough shell animals to go around, people. Let's make it a limit of one per customer.

Now, I ask you, why the hell is this woman so happy? I can honestly say that in my 30-plus years of vacuuming experience, not once have I felt such joy when doing this task that I had to throw out my arm in a Broadway-esque pose and say "ta da!" She has such a look of pure bliss on her face as well. And to think, these were the days BEFORE Prozac. She has either been hitting the sauce, or is super-jazzed about cleaning her groovy sunken living room. My bet is on the consumption of many, many Harvey Wallbangers.

And while Betty Jean was busy tidying up before the Mister came home from a hard day at the office, little Lisa was busy whipping up brownies, courtesy of a powder packet, water, and a light bulb...

Note that the little pink box says "Child tested since 1965" and from the looks of this package, that would have been just one short year ago. Yes, they were actually selling this. But hey, a little botulism is a small, small price to pay for a nostalgic trip down memory lane.


This, I love. This, I almost bought. It is sort of the grouch's answer to a welcome sign. I like the no-nonsense approach. It is kind of like, "Hey, good to see you! Come in, sit a spell! And if you act like a bitch I will throw you right out!"

But I thought it might send the wrong message. Seeing as how my husband likes to tell me I can be abrasive, I guess I should go with a cheery Welcome! sign instead.

And, by the way, to said husband, when he calls me abrasive, I tell him to kiss my ass.

What...? Is that wrong?

He loves me, but...

There is nothing like the little kid climbing in bed with me in the morning for some cuddles.

This morning he slipped under my blanket and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Mom. Mommy. You 'wake?"

"Mmmmm..."

"You the most byootiful mommy. I'm always gon to stay with you."

"That is sweet, bud."

"I always gon hug and kiss you. I always gon love you."

Now I am good and awake. "I love you, too, baby boy."

"Mom. Never mind. You need to brush your teeth."

Fickle little brat.