Thursday, May 26, 2022


 Hard to believe I let this poor, neglected blog sit for so long.  I don't even know if people read blogs anymore.  I know I don't.  So pretty much this is for me, because I am currently a big fat sack of happiness, wistfulness, pride, and a little bit of sadness.

Things have changed so much since the last post in 2014.  The boys have grown up so much, and the middle kid graduated high school and is getting ready to spread his wings this Fall and head to college.  The oldest turned 30 last year, and the baby is six-damn-teen.

I miss the house that had crazy, funny, loud little boys in and out ("shut the door!").  I miss sweaty-headed little guys napping in the cool house after playing outside on the Slip and Slide or pushing Tonka trucks around the yard.  I miss stepping over endless miles of wooden train tracks built all over the house. I miss chubby-armed hugs and having to reach down to pick a little boy up.  There were bugs, caterpillars, wormeries, Thomas the Tank Engine, cars, and endless shows on Noggin.  There were loads of laundry with tiny pairs of shorts and little socks that seemed to always be missing a mate out of the dryer.  The days could be long sometimes, but D and I would hit the pillow every night, so thankful and usually laughing about something that had happened with the boys that day.  Some days tired, some days stressed, but always, always thankful.

When the oldest kid grew up, moved out, got married (to the sweetest girl, omg), finished college and got his degree, I was able to move through those stages alongside him with so much pride and so much wonder and love, always knowing in the back of my mind that I had two more little guys "to go" and it felt like I would have all the time in the world.  I guess we were so busy living that I didn't realize how fast that time was whizzing past.  Now I have to reach up for those hugs.  I am doing laundry for grown men.  There are hairy legs and size 15 shoes in this house. There are research papers, AP exams, Driver's Licenses, and girlfriends.  And I love every second of it.  While I miss my little guys, holy shit do I feel a fierce love and admiration for these young men that they are now.   It is a precious moment when one of my boys wraps his arms around me, leans down, and kisses my forehead. All three of my guys are just really good people.  They are kind, smart, and empathetic creatures.  They love at 100 percent, and are loyal and helpful.  I know we all think our kids are the shiniest diamond, the blackest crow... but the difference here is that I'm right.  :)

To say they are all perfect would be a straight-up lie, so make no mistake, I am not saying that at all. I have had my share of frustrations and they could be right boogers sometimes.  But these boys to men have been the greatest gift of my life.  While each stage they move through makes me sad, it also brings me so much joy.  Like the song says, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." It's bittersweet.  But light on the bitter, heavy on the sweet.  I can't wait to see the things they will do, the places they'll go (both metaphorically and physically), and the people they will become.