Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I get knocked down...but I get up again...

No funnies today, just an explanation of sorts...sorry to copy and paste from an email, but it is easier than writing over and over....

Long story short, out of nowhere on Easter night, I woke up with ringing and complete deafness in my right ear. I had not taken my Singulair that day, and we were outside at my MIL's that day, so upin talking to Dave, I decided to wait it out until morning and then head to the doctor.
A couple of hours later, I woke up again and the room was spinning. Not spinning like a hangover sort of thing, but absolutely flying. (Help, Jane! Stop this crazy thing!) I immediately knew I would be sick, and could not move so Dave scooped me into the bathroom. I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong and even my big strong paramedic hubby was afraid. I could hear it in his voice. Off to the horse-pistol we go.

Blood tests, CT scan, MRI....I have a raging inner ear infection. Not the kind that your kids get with pain and treated w/Amoxicillin, but deep in the ear. I was immobile (and sort of incoherent) while in the hospital, and the most miserable I have ever been in my life. Not to mention, I had to have shots of heparin in my stomach every day to prevent blood clots from forming since I was bedridden. My stomach is currently a watercolor of lovely blues, greys, blacks, and yellows. Lovely indeed.

I am functioning at about 40%, taking medication, still a mess, and my balance is totally affected. I walk like an 80 year old woman, and am trying to stay out of the public "eye". I have also not regained hearing in my right ear whatsoever, and there is a very real chance that I won't. I figure I will cross that bridge when I get there. In the grand scheme of things, being deaf in one ear is not that big of a deal, especially when at one time they were looking to be sure there were no lesions on my brain, and ruling out signs of stroke or MS.

So, there is my pity party of sorts. Hopefully this will be the last of it. I hate to wallow, and I am sure I will get to where I can find the humor (likely pretty sick humor, if you know me at all) in all of this. It is tough to type and focus right now, so my posts may be limited for a bit.

Upside- deaf ear faces the side hubby sleeps on, so I don't hear him snore. That rocketh.

Friday, April 10, 2009

You know you're an old codger when...

...hidden profanity flies right past you.

This song irritates the crap out of me. I cannot stand Britney's voice on this song, once heard, the "ha-ha-hee-hee-ha-ha-ho" begins rolling around and around in my head, and the chorus is awkward. Why not say, "If you are looking for Amy?" Why? Because "If You Seek Amy", when you say it out loud and really listen to it, is duuuuuurty. How did I miss this? And even though I don't like the song, I have been known to sing it. Ewwww.... I am sure I sounded like a total toolbag.

In case you are on the other side of the hill, or getting there, let me re-state. If...You...Seek...Amy. Stay with me here, F-U-C....you get it?

In days gone by, I would have totally picked up on that right away. And been one of those hoochies singing it out loud at the club, I might add.

In a reverse kind of way it of reminds me of the time I was singing "Push It" by Salt and Pepa and my mom was horrified. She swore they were saying, "Ah, Bullsh*t".

Now I have become that mom with no clue. Damn. How did that happen?

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I'm always thinkin'...

...but can't always remember what I was thinkin' 'bout.

Thank goodness for my handy-dandy notebook (aka my left palm)

I can't tell you how many times I have thought, "Ooh, I need to remember to tell Dave about that," or, "I should blog about that," and then I get home and have the CRS's. I draw a big fat old blank. Bugs the crap out of me. So, I usually jot down stuff on my hand. See? You can see there that I had MYOOALL, DVADER, and YUP. 'portant stuff.

DVADER- Today in line at Borders, there was a guy in front of me with two boys. Guy's phone goes off. It is Darth Vader's theme. You know, the "dun-dun-dundun" that they play when he enters any scene. Guy goes, "Ugh." and hands the phone to one of the kids. "It's your grandma." Now, I am going with the theory that it is mother-in-law because you know that is a wicked-funny ringtone to set for when your mother-in-law calls. It better not have been his own mother. I would hate the thought of my son pulling that punk-ass move when he is older and married. His wife, yeah, who cares...but not my boy. Actually, future daughter-in-law will probably be one with an off sense of humor if I know my oldest kid. So, she will probably have something like "Superfreak" set as the ringtone when I call. I actually may suggest it one day.

MYOOALL- This was a vanity plate I saw today. The best I could come up with was "mule" (??) Seriously, if you are going to have a vanity plate, don't make it so flippin' hard to figure out. Then again, I am a total "eediot" when it comes to figuring those things out, so maybe I am missing something? Do help a sista out, won't ya?

YUP- This is my new pet peeve, just next to spelling/grammatical errors. And let me preface this part by saying that I totally misspell words on PURPOSE. Sometimes I like to write out a word the way Dave and I say it, like total hillbillies. For instance, I posted a while back about hors-de-overs. Now, I know how to spell and correctly pronounce hors d'oeveurs, but Dave and I like to act like total rubes sometimes and mispronounce words. Mainly because we have three kids, it's cheap entertainment, and we are basically dorks. Back to YUP. Why do people, after you say "thank you", have to respond with "Yup"? I find it to mainly be teenagers. I have been to many a store, and when I have received my change and reciept, and say "Thank you" (which, shouldn't that be something they should be saying to me anyway? But, I digress...) The appropriate response should be something along the lines of "You're welcome", but I suppose that takes too much effort...one syllable versus three and all that. It bugs me. And I am old, so I get to bitch about those darned kids.

I'd say it's a good dadgummed thing I wrote those notes down on my hand today. Imagine what you would have missed.

You're welcome.

Git ya ice cold lemonaaaaade!

Spring is finally here. I am so feeling it.

So, in the spirit of warmer weather, I am passing along a "Lemonade Stand" award that I received from Jessica at Mommy Needs Coffee. Go check out her blog. Very cute, and how about the dimples on that girl? I am seriously jealous ; )

So, here are da rules...
1) Put the Lemonade Award logo on your blog or post.

2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude (or however many you want to nominate...I am going with 5).

3) Link to your nominees within your post.

4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award.

Here are the blogs I am nominating:

Kelli at Gohn Crazy (rockin' green momma...crunchy and crafty)

Steph at Our Family Blog (crazy cute kiddos!)

Lara at LaLa Land (I love this girl...she is twisted like me!)

Smoochiepoo at Don't Eat the Yellow Snow and Other Random Bits of Knowledge (funny-ass Canuck.)

Anna at Me and My Boys (A fellow "Twilight Mom", and that rates her pretty freaking high on my Cool Scale, not to mention, she has a houseful of testosterone, much like mine.)

So, if you are looking for new blogs to stalk, er read, check out my girls. Some are my RL buds, some I have "met" here on the Information Highway. All are fab.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I lubs artsy stuff.

Remember when I shared with you the super-cool Amy Burhoe site? Well, she is on hiatus from creating/selling at this time. Sad face, sad face on me. Bummer. Just in time for my birthday. Damn it. She and I have emailed back and forth and she is just taking a short break to revamp the site and decide where she wants to take her creations, so never fear...she'll be "bah-ck".

This...is the site of a very talented artist...

You think that's good? You should see her sculpture. Wow. I am hoping she will upload some of those pictures soon. She rocks. Ok, she's my mother-in-law, but for real...she is awesome. Go. See. Be impressed.

On a completely unrelated note as I am watching the news right now and it's on my mind... what the frog is up with Brian Williams' eyebrows? He is brainy hot until he starts talking. That is when his eyebrows stand Straight Up Now Tell Me. They sort of make a tent-like structure over his eyeballs.

It's bothersome. As I tell my kids when they are acting up and scowly..."relax your face."

Just sayin'. End random thought.