Monday, September 28, 2009

Love, Kindergarten Style

Apparently, the middle kid is involved in some kind of 5 year old love triangle.

You see, he had a mission when he started Kindergarten this year. He was out to "find a girl to marry." The first day brought no luck, but the second day, he jumped into the van at Parent Pickup to tell me he found the girl of his dreams. I asked what her name was and he said, "I don't know."

The next day he jumps in the van at Parent Pickup to tell me he found out his True Love's name and it is Morgan. I asked if she was in his class, and he said, no, that he talks to her at PP. So that means that they get, what, 5 minutes a day to talk? (I have since found out that "sometimes" they are on the playground together at the same time, so I guess we can add another 15 minutes every so often to that time...)

I asked him what she looked like and he said, "I don't know."

I asked what color hair she has and he said, "I don't know."

I asked why he wanted to marry her and he said, "Because I asked her and she said yes."

The boy doesn't have very high standards. Apparently, all it takes to win his heart is to say "yes" when he proposes.

Today he came home to tell me that Jake used to be Morgan's best friend, but Morgan told Jake on the playground today that he is no longer the carrier of that title, because now she is Hunter's best friend.

So, Jake challenged Hunter to a fight.


And Jake said he didn't care and didn't want to be Morgan's friend ANYWAY, SO THERE! and this made Morgan cry.

Which threw Hunter into Knight in Shining Armor mode. Can't resist a damsel in distress.

But I told him that he needed to tell Jake that they could all be friends, and that there would be no such duel, no matter how fair the maiden.

Hunter said he would just put up a force field and block Jake from fighting with him. Good luck with that, kid. Let me know how that worked once you pick your arse up out of the dirt where Jake knocks you.

I said that if Jake really wanted to fight, that he needed to tell the teacher. Let her handle it. He still was not happy with that solution, so I pulled out the big guns and told him that fighting would put him on the red light. Make no mistake, it is a big fat deal to be on the red light. Hunter stays on green and is very proud of that. He comes home to tell me in whispered tones of so-and-so, who got in trouble today and "...was on the....YELLOW light...!" Yikes.

So, hopefully, this scared him into just narc-ing out this Jake character to the teacher if there is any trouble a-brewin'.

Oh, this boy....the girls already are playing him like a fiddle...


Kalyco said...

I think he's right on track with the way men think. They're ready to get married when they're ready, and I'm not so sure it has to do with finding Mrs. Right, as much as Mrs. Right now. They're ready when they're ready and not a moment before! Love the story.... BTW, is that a snake in that weird glass vase thingy from the thrift store?

Traci said...

Wow!! Starting so young. My little darling started a kissing game at school on her first day of kindergarten. All because of a Disney ad she saw for the Prncess and the Frog. Oh brother.