(a.k.a. Doing my part to warp the next generation.)
I'd like to think that my boys will look back fondly at their childhoods and remember things Mom taught them like how to read, how to plant and raise veggies in the garden, and the importance of a healthy lifestyle.
I look back on lessons my parents taught me and my mind goes to the importance of eating dinner together every night, manners, and being kind.
My fear is that my kids will one day be adults and only reflect on the really important stuff I have taught them. Things like...
How to effectively ninja fart in your brother's face.
How to armpit fart.
How to armpit fart using the backs of your knees.
How to crop dust vs. atom bomb fart. When each are appropriate.
(You'll note a theme here. Clearly, I have all boys.)
How to beatbox. (Boots and cats, y'all. Boots and cats.)
The lyrics to Double Dutch Bus and Ice, Ice Baby.
Why Double Dutch Bus is acceptable to sing in public and Ice, Ice Baby, not so much.
How to booty pop.
Burping the song "Mahna Manah" (Because burping the alphabet is soooo juvenile.)
Why Beastie Boys and 2 Live Crew were trailblazers in rap...and to that vein, Why 80's rap is the only rap.
How to half-ass load the dishwasher...and leave the pots to soak indefinitely in the sink.
So far, I have raised one out of three....and that kid is working at a homeless shelter, going to college for Psychology, and wants to work with at-risk kids. So far so good.
And he can do a mean knee fart.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Posted by Trace at 2:17 PM
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
It's that time again! And it dawns on me in planning this year's shenanigans that I never added pictures from last year's Elf on the Shelf. Some nights, of course, he just hid in different places, playing Elf and Seek. Other nights, he got a little more creative :)
He is always waiting for us when we get home from our annual vacation:
Posted by Trace at 10:27 AM
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
And starting this little journey has given me confidence to do lots of other things I never, ever (like ever) thought I would do. I have done a mud run and am getting ready to do a second one, signed up for Color Me Rad, and recently did a zipline and obstacle course. Yes, that same fireplug, big boobed, stumpy legged girl.
Posted by Trace at 4:43 PM
Saturday, September 8, 2012
With the approach of Fall, I start to get excited about the upcoming holiday season. I have been meaning for the last 9-ish months to get all of these pictures loaded onto my blog, per a request or two. So here it is!
Along with eleventy billion other families in the world, we had an addition to our family a couple of years ago; our Elf on a Shelf. The kids named him Hermie Elfis.
|He's so cheeky.|
Hermie shows up while we are on our annual beach and NC Thanksgiving vacation. He usually is hanging from the kids' chalkboard with a "Welcome Home" message. Then the fun begins...
The first couple of years, he mainly just hid in different places in the house; dining room chandelier, bookshelf, peeking from behind the sofa... But last year, he stepped it up a bit.
|Edible markers...you can find them at craft stores|
|That's a fifty dollar fine, pal.|
|Leonardo needs to work on perfecting his "poker face".|
|Kumbaya, my Lord....kumbaya...|
|Guess he actually did get a hippopatamus for Christmas.|
|Guess he's over 40, too.|
|Booyah, Puffin. In yo face. (Or on your head...)|
|Flight ELF to control tower...over...|
|Bet he consulted a tutorial online. Just a guess.|
|His brother, Buddy, prefers straight syrup.|
|The Bounty slopes ain't for sissies.|
|Don't all engineers wear this to work?|
|Lovely penmanship for an elf.|
|Tefchnically, that's no noble steed. Nice ass, Hermie.|
Posted by Trace at 12:30 PM
Friday, February 24, 2012
Fun activity for you and your crumb-snatchers for St. Patty's Day!
Bear in mind, these pics were taken with a crappy cell phone camera, but if you are like me, directions are clearer along with text. :)
I got this idea from Family Fun magazine and tweaked it a smidge.
First, you will need clear glass ornaments. Since it is late February and Christmas decorations are hard to find, I dug out some old glass balls that were red. I remember stripping color from glass balls when I was younger, so I went the route I knew. Submerge in bleach and water (making sure the solution gets inside the balls as well. Let 'em soak.
I discovered after the red paint was gone that the balls were also coated in silver on the inside, and instead of leaving them clear, they had a gray cast. I braced the balls on top of Mason jars and filled them halfway with ammonia. You want to swish it around a bit and then fill to the top with ammonia. Let them sit.
- 1 Tbs Green fishtank gravel
- Activated carbon (for fishtanks)
- damp soil
- clover (or seeds...but I wasn't patient enough for that!) You can dig up clover patches in your yard.
Posted by Trace at 10:17 PM