Sunday, May 3, 2009

Back to the land of the semi-hearing...

I've been working my way back to you, babe...

(And you are welcome for the song headache you have now.)

So, I have been recovering, and looking for the funny in any of this mess. Not quite there, but although this chick may get down....make no mistake, she always, always, always bounces back. I don't think I have been through anything less or more than anyone else, and hey, who knows what someone is going through day to day? But I can say that the things I have been through have made me the strong person I am today. A hurricane, losing my dad, a miscarriage...now this illness. But I read in the paper today about a 41 year old guy who had a stroke and lost his ability to speak. He had to rely on a dry erase board and a computer to do the talking for him. Through it all, he never lost his faith. He prayed for God's guidance to get him through it. He had to think and map out his every day activities in order to plan for how to communicate with those he came in contact with: at the bank, at fast food joints, the grocery store... It all took a conscious effort to plan. He said one of the hardest things for him was going to church and not being able to sing the hymns along with the rest of the congregation. One Sunday, years after his stroke, in the middle of a hymn, his speech suddenly returned and he was able to sing the hymn...and it was one with a message of faith. How amazing is this? It puts a lot into perspective. Someone always has it worse than you, and faith will carry you when you think you are all alone with no hope.

Now, do I still have a pity party now and then? Hell to the yeah. Being dizzy and deaf in one ear just sucks. No other word for it. It just sucks out loud. But, I have my sight. I have hearing in my other ear to hear Hunter giggle, Chase sing "Thomas's Winter Wonderland", Austin tell me he loves me, and Dave tell me that we are in this together. I have use of my arms, legs, and brain. I know life is good. I really do. I am just not so patient. I want to be better NOW. God is telling me to slow down and be patient. This will take time. I have to attend more doctor appointments, have further procedures, and have vestibular therapy. It can take months to get to a new normal. So I have to wait, and have faith. The faith part, I got. The wait part, not so much.

And to top it off, we are attempting to sell our house and buy a new one. Holy crap, am I crazy? Why, yes. Yes, indeed. But such is our life here. Always something new to do, a task to complete, a butt to wipe. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh, and back to the song...enjoy. And it's a remix BEEYATCHES!